I’m not the kind of person who counts chickens before they hatch, but my mind won’t stop at the thought of recently improved symptoms, and the possible remission of Parkinson’s disease. To get through each day, I promise myself that a cure will be available in my lifetime. At one time, I saw myself wheel chair bound before my youngest child reached third grade, and was ridden with guilt that my children will have to take care of me before I’m finished taking care of them.

I have always been an ox. I would run a race to win, be a super-mom, and even when taken down, I have always possessed the natural ability to stand up, brush off, and keep fighting for my own victory. After a certain amount of time though, boxing gloves grow worn, and accepting defeat becomes a new lesson in this game called life.

What am I getting at here? All of these random explanations are leading me to explain something. It isn’t easy to refrain from pondering “why” to anything thrown our way, but it truly is merely a waste of time and energy. Rolling with the tides and riding the waves is the better option, even when it feels so difficult to accept.

I have never approved of this medication that I reluctantly took for three years, as it caused me to obsess over food and anything else that I felt was a less destructive escape while preventing me from sleeping any more than four consecutive hours a night. Recognizing the side effects, my attempt to stop taking this drug was highly discouraged by the neurologist at the “movement disorder clinic.” The lesson here is clear. Don’t always believe everything a doctor tells you. When your instincts press you hard enough that you find yourself in a mental battle with a health professional, I suggest giving your gut another listen.

Over a week ago, one of my medications needed to be filled, and I failed to do it. Attempting to keep up with the new back to school schedule and children’s sports were difficult enough while juggling a nasty cold virus. Like most moms, my own needs were pushed aside, and I didn’t pick up the Rx. The next thing I knew, 10 days had passed without the required medication.

Strangely, my symptoms have improved. Even when the one remaining medication wears off, my symptoms are at a manageable level when they previously were not. Two weeks ago, if meds were not working at their peak, walking through a grocery store was virtually IMPOSSIBLE. Two days ago, when unmedicated, I was capable of getting through the store without much difficulty. I could physically DO it.

What does all of this mean? It means that I will focus more on “what” over “why?” As with anything life tosses our way, we should all expend our energy appreciating what we have today over what we do not have, what others have, or what we wish we had. Everyone has their crosses to bear. Allowing ourselves to worry about tomorrow is making the choice to give up today.